unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

honestly my dad is such a freak he never says goodnight like a normal person he just says “i’ll be back” and he goes upstairs and when you ask where he is or go looking for him hes asleep and the next morning when you see him he just says “good morning im back’ like what is wrong with him

classyemmarie:

no-more-yielding-but-a-dream:

classyemmarie:

MY BEST FRIEND WAS AT RICHARD III TONIGHT AND SHE SNEEZED DURING MARTIN FREEMANS MONOLOGUE AND MARTIN FREEMAN SAID BLESS YOU

SHE HAS BEEN BLESSED BY MARTIN FREEMAN

he broke character?!

YES AND THE WHOLE THEATER LAUGHED AND THEN HE JUST KEPT GOING!

averagefairy:

what even is the 50 shades movie gonna be just like a theatre full of 40 yr old women eating popcorn and gasping and clutching their chests throughout 2 hours of softcore porn???????? please no

http://tegansenpai.tumblr.com/post/92819611929/justcallmemargaret-loathlylady →

justcallmemargaret:

loathlylady:

justcallmemargaret:

It still baffles me that not everyone uses the word togs. Like… Using any other word for the clothes-you-wear-while-swimming is the weirdest concept to me.

SWIMMERS. THINGS YOU SWIM IN. YOU GO SWIMMING IN SWIMMERS. YOU DO…

corsmos:

That last line is basically how I sext people.

counterpunches:

hetagarnet:

qichi:

linguisticsyall:

Where does your tongue stay when you’re not speaking? If you’re an English-speaker, it’s behind the top front teeth. If you’re a Russian-speaker, it’s on the bottom of your mouth, lying flat.

#what #for real

I JUST FREAKING CONSCIOUSLY CHECKED AND TRIED TO MAKE IT LAY FLAT BUT NO, IT’S SERIOUSLY AT THE TOP OF MY MOUTH. I DON’T LIKE THIS

 

allonsy-mywayward-sociopath:

The moment Ron gave up on school

when me and my girl fucking

riothurl:

her: aaaahhh yess aaaaaa-

me: aaaalliance insurance thats right how can i help

sixpenceee:

sixpenceee:

I found this really cool new website called you.regettingold.com that brings on more existential crisis and gives you totally cool information.

There’s a lot more information there I didn’t post, but try it out for yourself!

you.regettingold.com

you.regettingold.com

you.regettingold.com

you.regettingold.com

The last one “compared to others” really hits hard, it shows you how many people born on your birthday are still alive vs. how many died.

imcalvinhughe:

this would literally ruin people’s lives