guinness world records man: sir you have done nothing but do pushups from this one spot for 20 years with no rest. what drives you?
me, still doing pushups: i wanna push this planet out of the idiot solar system and into the horrifying abyss of the unknown universe and this is the only way I know how
world records man, in awe: [drops everything and instantly begins doing pushups next to me]

toyota:

Now I know wich was the forbidden fruit the bible talks about

spiritguide:

WHOA THERE COOL IT THAT’S WAAAAY TOO MUCH FROSTING FOR ONE DUNKAROO YOU GOTTA RATION THAT SHIT

jesosaurusrex:

deelekgolo:

when you brush your teeth you are petting your skeleton for a job well done

What the fuck.

prettyboyshyflizzy:

loveniaimani:

ctron164:

tarynel:

chiefsimba:

king-emare:

trailerparkof-whores:

Did he just pull out his dick and drop it on them

lmaoooo son…this just ruined my childhood

Yo lmfaooo

BRUH NOOOOOOOOOOO LMFAO

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Nooooooooooooo why ya’ll destroying “Dragon Tales” ?!?!

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😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀

killjoy-youngblood:

White lips pale face this ain’t a scene it’s a god damn arms race

barackobotm:

the american school system 

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bitchcrvftt:

White privilege is being able to shoot up a movie theater and leave alive in the back of a cop car. It’s driving around in the BMW daddy bought you killing because you felt you were entitled to women’s bodies & afterwards the media painting you as not a criminal but rather a poor sad situation of a person suffering from mental health issues.

But if you are a PoC you’re one trip to the corner store and a warning shot to the back of the head away from being a hash tag on tumblr.

"A woman is only vulnerable when her nail polish is drying, and even then she can still pull a trigger."

—some great quote I heard somewhere once upon a time and that is very, very true (via traffic-jam-session)