honestly my dad is such a freak he never says goodnight like a normal person he just says “i’ll be back” and he goes upstairs and when you ask where he is or go looking for him hes asleep and the next morning when you see him he just says “good morning im back’ like what is wrong with him
MY BEST FRIEND WAS AT RICHARD III TONIGHT AND SHE SNEEZED DURING MARTIN FREEMANS MONOLOGUE AND MARTIN FREEMAN SAID BLESS YOU
SHE HAS BEEN BLESSED BY MARTIN FREEMAN
he broke character?!
YES AND THE WHOLE THEATER LAUGHED AND THEN HE JUST KEPT GOING!
what even is the 50 shades movie gonna be just like a theatre full of 40 yr old women eating popcorn and gasping and clutching their chests throughout 2 hours of softcore porn???????? please no
It still baffles me that not everyone uses the word togs. Like… Using any other word for the clothes-you-wear-while-swimming is the weirdest concept to me.
SWIMMERS. THINGS YOU SWIM IN. YOU GO SWIMMING IN SWIMMERS. YOU DO…
Where does your tongue stay when you’re not speaking? If you’re an English-speaker, it’s behind the top front teeth. If you’re a Russian-speaker, it’s on the bottom of your mouth, lying flat.
I JUST FREAKING CONSCIOUSLY CHECKED AND TRIED TO MAKE IT LAY FLAT BUT NO, IT’S SERIOUSLY AT THE TOP OF MY MOUTH. I DON’T LIKE THIS
her: aaaahhh yess aaaaaa-
me: aaaalliance insurance thats right how can i help
I found this really cool new website called you.regettingold.com that brings on more existential crisis and gives you totally cool information.
There’s a lot more information there I didn’t post, but try it out for yourself!
The last one “compared to others” really hits hard, it shows you how many people born on your birthday are still alive vs. how many died.